Fatty Food Monster Strikes Again!

Adventures In Fatcastle…

You will never guess what happened today! Only seriously, you’ll never guess…okay I’ll tell you! I got to chalk up one point to myself against the Fatty Food Monster! Granted, the monster did earn 4 points today… At least I got one for myself! Let me just break down for you what exactly happened in our back and forth brawl.

I’m certain you will not be surprised when I say that I woke up this morning and, yes, made my way to the couch and began flipping through the brain garbage that is television. And next, even less surprising, I opened up the laptop and got my morning fix of Pinterest! How could I not? Feeling slightly disappointed in myself from my Subway breakdown the day before, I decided to have another go at finding something healthy to make for breakfast. When I came across a little treat they call “Cinnamon Sugar Toast,” I decided, why not attempt this? It requires 4 ingredients and is practically fool-proof! One problem…it was definitely not healthy. Forgetting about yesterday’s endeavor, I made my way to the kitchen to cook up this seemingly simple snack. NOT SO SIMPLE, I mean! I burned the toast, suffered from cinnamon overload, and went into sugar shock! It made for a nice nap though! Fatty Fail #1 for the day.

Then at lunch time, as if the monster hadn’t breathed its fatty fire enough, I opened the pantry, defeated from my cooking attempt to see my arch nemesis…RAMEN NOODLES! The last package sat there, laughing in my face as I tried to avoid eye contact. It was as if all of my willpower was dwindling before my eyes! I felt my hands begin to pick up the notoriously salty and calorie packed noodles before I could stop them! Within what seemed like 5 seconds, I was slurping down the chicken flavored goodness, clogging my arteries with each taste.  I had inhaled a saltier yet equally satisfying forbidden fruit as the double chocolate chip cookie heaven from the previous day. Fatty Fail #2.

The GRAND Finale! Yes folks, we have reached that time where I tell you about how I conquered that Fatty Food Monster and chalked up a point for the home team! Grabbing my running shoes, I quickly made my way to the treadmill without looking back at that package of Oreos crying out for me! 9 minutes and 45 seconds later I was out of breath and out of caffeine. Without a second thought I grabbed the last 90 calorie Coke out of the refrigerator and chugged it within literally 20 seconds. I know…Fatty Fail #3…only that’s not the end of it. My taste buds were craving something that would require me to get out into the real world … the real world of McDonalds. It was time for an ICE CREAM CONE! That sugary swirl stacked on top of a perfectly crunchy cone satisfied my fatty craving for a sweet treat after a nice mile jog. Fatty Fail #4. I think that’s a new record. Fatty Kelsey 1 … Fatty Food Monster 4. I guess I’ll just have to do better next time! (But probably not…)

Love & Cookies,

Fatty Kelsey


About Kelsey Erin

I'm releasing the filing cabinet within my brain to the world. It can be found here. If I'm thinking it, odds are you'll know. Odds are you can relate.
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